If you’re looking for the recipe for Cindy Sue Nearmyer’s almond bark cookies, check the cemetery in Monroe or read below. Photo: Duane Tinkey Writer: Emily Stearney Food styling and additional reporting: Casey Halder For years, whenever someone asked Deb Nelson for her famous Red Lantern Che ese Dip recipe, she had the same answer: “When I’m gone, it’ll be on the back of my headstone.” Most people assumed she was joking. After Nelson died, in 2021, her family made sure she got the last laugh. They engraved the recipe on her gravestone in Dow City, over in western Iowa, joining a small but growing number of families who have chosen to memorialize loved ones with the foods they were known for. These “gravestone recipes” preserve more than favorite dishes. They keep alive the stories, traditions and love that families shared around the table. Nelson’s son, Chris, a voice-over professional in Indianola, remembers eating the famous cheese dip all the time, often for family holidays but also “just because.” His mom learned to make it in 55-gallon drums when she worked as a waitress and cook at the Red Lantern Steakhouse in Denison, where she met her husband, Jeff. After the restaurant closed, she kept the recipe and continued making it in smaller batches at home. “She would never tell anyone the recipe, even though everyone would always ask her,” Chris said. People tried to copy the recipe, he said, but nobody but his mom could get it exactly right. Their chances improved after the family had the tightly guarded secret carved on her headstone. Then it showed up in 2025 in “To Die For: A Cookbook of Gravestone Recipes.” The author, Rosie Grant, started the project during an archives internship at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C., and eventually gathered 40 recipes from around the world for the bestselling book. Another Recipe to Remember After Cindy Sue Nearmyer died in late 2024, her sister suggested the family should engrave her recipe for almond bark cookies on her headstone in Monroe, just southeast of Des Moines. The family knew Cindy Sue would have approved. “She loved having other people’s recipes, and she had an abundance of cookbooks,” said her daughter, Kristina Oesch. “Her favorite thing was to write down every recipe in her own handwriting.” Oesch has especially fond memories of those almond bark cookies. “My parents would always make Christmas candy and cookies for my teachers, and that was my mom’s signature cookie,” she said. For both the Nelson and Nearmyer families, making their signature recipes has become a meaningful way to connect with family, friends and the memories of their loved ones. Chris Nelson describes his mom as a larger-than-life personality who was a radio DJ in western Iowa for more than a decade, following her stint at the Red Lantern. She was an excellent cook and often made her cheese dip to share with family and friends. “It was all about making sure everyone was loved,” he said. “You knew you were loved because she would bring you some cheese dip.” For her part, Oesch remembers her mother’s unwavering support and how she encouraged her to pursue whatever she wanted to do. While Oesch doesn’t have children of her own, her best friend has five. So last year during the holiday season, they all got together to make her mom’s almond bark cookies. “These cookies were the kids’ favorite ones, and they were gone almost immediately,” she said. Oesch said they didn’t taste exactly like her mom’s, but they were close enough to bring back memories from her childhood, when she helped her mom by adding the ingredients into the big bowl. “Being able to have those moments and share [the recipe] with other people and keeping the memories alive, that was so special,” she said. Cindy Sue Nearmyer’s Almond Bark Cookies This is more of a drop cookie than a traditional cookie, and the recipe is pretty straightforward, according to Nearmyer’s daughter, Kristina Oesch. If you’re so inclined, you can add more or less of certain components (like the peanuts) without losing the cookie’s essential appeal. Ingredients 1 1/2 pounds almond bark 1 cup crunchy peanut butter 2 cups miniature marshmallows 2 cups cocktail peanuts 4 cups Rice Krispies Instructions 1. Melt bark in double boiler. 2. Add peanut butter, stir well. 3. Add remaining ingredients, stir well. 4. Drop by teaspoon on waxed paper. 5. Allow to cool. Photo: Casey Halder Deb Nelson’s Red Lantern Cheese Dip Nelson’s son, Chris, has eaten this his whole life and never dared to alter it. “There’s no need to tweak it,” he said. The trick, he said, is sticking to a very specific set of ingredients. The main one is Kaukauna Spreadable Cheese, which comes from Wisconsin in a plastic tub with a blue lid. The other secret to getting it right? Bacon bits. “Everybody tries to get fancy with the bacon bits,” he said. “It’s not the fancy bacon bits. It’s the generic, crunchy, salad-bar bacon bits — the store brand that comes in the plastic tub.” Ingredients 8 ounces spreadable sharp cheddar cheese 1/4 cup mayonnaise 1/4 cup sour cream 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder 1/2 teaspoon dried minced onion Splash of milk Handful of dried bacon bits Instructions Combine all the ingredients in a bowl with a mixer. Refrigerate (overnight, if possible) and serve with Club crackers. Photo: Duane Tinkey Contributor Emily Stearney is a freelance writer and PR professional whose food and humor writing appears in Edible Chicago, McSweeney’s, and Point in Case. Casey Halder is a chef and freelance food stylist in Des Moines. ...read more read less