When a political giant passes, the public discourse naturally gravitates toward the resume, the titles held, legislation enacted and all of the barriers broken. In the wake of former Lt. Gov. Nancy Wyman’s passing, the tributes have rightfully poured in, celebrating a woman who was as famous for her sharp fiscal mind and her ability to work across party lines, as she was for her signature high heels, her love of dancing, and her ubiquitous Diet Coke… and let’s not forget the large cup of ice on the side. Mark Ojakian Yet as I reflect on the 38 years I spent as her close friend and political teammate, I find that her true legacy lies not just in her public service but in the profound depth of her soul —an inner compass that guided both her personal life and political convictions. Nancy was more than a colleague and friend to me: she was a sister. While the world saw a powerhouse politician in a petite body, I saw a woman of immense kindness and compassion who consistently placed the needs of her family and of Connecticut’s citizens above her own ambitions. Her policy decisions were never mere political calculations but extensions of her personal values. Whether advocating for high-quality education for every child, affordable and accessible health care for all, dignity for seniors, support for veterans and working families, or civil rights for the LGBTQ+ community, Nancy led with her heart. Our journey began in 1988. I was a legislative liaison and she was the co-chair of the General Assembly’s Education Committee. We spent those early days debating policy, often disagreeing, only to resolve our differences over a shared tuna melt and French fries in her office . The ability to bridge divides with humanity and a simple meal was the hallmark of her character. Our bond deepened during a period of personal tragedy for me. After I lost my partner in a car accident, recognizing my need to find some purpose in life amidst my grief, Nancy asked me to volunteer for her long-shot campaign for State Comptroller. What began as a mere distraction evolved into a grueling but exciting tour of every corner of Connecticut. She claimed to have taught me to appreciate the essence of county fairs, introducing me to oxen pulls and cow chip bingo events. She walked in every parade imaginable as she campaigned in her stilettos and informed folks who lined the streets that if she could control her heels she would control the finances of the state of Connecticut. I watched her defy the skeptics who thought a woman couldn’t serve as the state’s “fiscal guardian.” I stood with her at the State Democratic Convention when she refused to buckle to party bosses as her supporters chanted “No Deals Wyman.” She went on to become the first woman to hold the office of State Comptroller, serving with distinction for 16 years. I had the honor and privilege of serving as her Deputy for those 16 years. She was a mentor to me during that time and I owe much of my success in the later stages of my career to her willingness to guide me. On the campaign trail, I learned the true measure of the woman. I learned how much family meant to her- a devotion so essential to her identity that her first TV ad proudly identified her as a “mother and grandmother,” despite the fact that female politicians are sometimes discouraged from highlighting those roles. We became fixtures in each other’s families, navigating the heights of joy and the depths of loss together. She taught me the nuances of the Jewish faith, from proper etiquette of a shiva call to the correct greetings on Yom Kippur. She would remind me that you wish someone an easy fast on that high holy day and not a good fast, because as she would say “ Mark, there is nothing good about a fast.” I returned the favor by introducing her to Armenian traditions and perhaps a finer grade of wine than she was used to. As I look through the decades of photographs, I am struck by the longevity and vibrancy of our friendship and political alliance. Though there is profound sadness in her absence from my life I find myself laughing out loud at the memories of our shared adventures. Nancy Wyman was a gift to the State of Connecticut, a trailblazer who proved that one could be both a fierce advocate and a compassionate and loving friend. I was so fortunate to have her by my side for nearly 40 years and we are all better off for the incredible mark she left on all of our lives. Mark Ojakian is a former Deputy Comptroller, former chief of staff to Gov. Dannel Malloy, and former president of the CT State College and University System. He now lives in Rancho Mirage, Calif.   ...read more read less