7 Ways to describe the heat (Without using profanity)
Aug 18, 2026
Commentary by Storm Station Meteorologist Dave Baker.Meteorologists get excited when the weather turns, especially when we get to see the extremes of Mother Nature. I do too, but I don't love disasters. There's a difference. After decades of hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and other forms of extreme
weather, I'm perfectly happy when the atmosphere occasionally gives me something interesting without ruining someone's day. That's probably why my favorite weather event isn't a hurricane. It's the Blizzard of 2025.But I'll admit it: I hate summer. Miserable. Brutal. Dangerous. Excessive. Eventually, even those words begin to sound like the same forecast. The problem with summer isn't that the heat is unusual. It's that it's becoming monotonous. Fortunately, the FCC and WBRZ keep me in line because I have MANY colorful ways to describe the heatmdash;and I'll bet you do, too.I did some digging into how folks have described summer heat, including asking a few friends, family members, and former coworkers. Here are seven ways to describe the heat (without using profanity).1. ldquo;It's as hot as Hades.rdquo;As close to profanity as you can get without going over. This was a common line from one of my co-anchors back in the 1990s. I was way younger, and I guess I didn't mind the heat as much. But Agnes DeRouen, I feel your pain now that I'm in my 50s!2. ldquo;Hotter than blue blazes.rdquo;I'm pretty sure I've heard my grandpa say this one back in the day.3. ldquo;Hotter than a two-dollar pistol.rdquo;I've heard this one a few times, and it goes back to old American English.4. ldquo;It's gonna be another scorcher!rdquo;My mom has used this one, and a former weather team member loves this line, too. Apparently, we can all thank a Sears air-conditioning commercial from the 1990s for this one!5. ldquo;Hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk.rdquo;I've never actually tried it, but I've fried my feet on the pool deck enough times to understand the sentiment.6. ldquo;The Dog Days of Summer.rdquo;Wow! Dr. Josh Eachus has a series with this name for pet adoption here at WBRZ!7. ldquo;Ccedil;a fait chaud!rdquo;My favoritemdash;and uniquely Cajun.So this week, I'll once again stand in front of the camera and tell you that temperatures will climb into the upper 90s, the humidity will be oppressive, and the feels-like temperature will be dangerous. I'll probably call it sweltering. Maybe oppressive. Maybe brutal.But I'm going to try something different. I may say, ldquo;It's hotter than a depot stove.rdquo; Because after years of Louisiana summers, even a meteorologist needs a new adjective. What's your favorite?Permalink| Comments
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