Good Morning! If the sky is still grey while you’re reading this, just give it a sec. It’s expected to be one of those classic spring days where the cloud cover burns off and we have a beautiful, sunny 60-degree day by the afternoon. It’s the kind of weather that convinces tourists to move he re on a whim. The forecast is basically identical for the next week, at least. So if you’ve been trying to get a friend to move to Seattle, now’s the time to get them to visit.  Alright, let’s do the news.  The ‘Ceasefire’: On Wednesday, Trump extended the ceasefire with Iran because no one showed up to their negotiation party. But both sides are using the Strait of Hormuz to try to get an advantage when they finally do get to the table. That same day, Iranian forces said that they’d seized two cargo ships near the strait. And on Thursday, the Trump admin said that they’d boarded another oil tanker coming from Iran, and said that he had ordered the Navy to “shoot and kill any boat” that is laying mines in the strait. Hoard Those Rubbers: The world’s largest condom maker, Karex, has had to raise prices by 30 percent because of the closures in the Strait of Hormuz. They say they make about a fifth of the world’s condoms, supplying companies like Durex and Trojan. Time to start dipping into the free condom bowls.  Kash Wants You to Stop Looking at Him: First, news broke that FBI Director Kash Patel was suing The Atlantic and one of its reporters for $250 million for their story about his heavy drinking and absences from the job. And now, the New York Times has learned that the FBI opened up an investigation into one of their reporters after she discovered that Kash was using FBI personnel to give his girlfriend government security and transportation. “This ongoing, un-American harassment of journalists eerily echoes the Bureau’s darkest days,” said Reporters Without Borders in a statement. “It’s time for Patel to cash out and resign.” Good News! You Might Be Canadian: A new law went into effect in Canada last December, massively loosening their citizenship requirements. Before, you needed a Canadian parent to qualify for citizenship, but under this new law, any descendent will do. If you can prove that your great-great-grandfather was a Canadian citizen up in Winnipeg? Go get your dual citizenship. But expect a wait: Immigration lawyers say they’re absolutely bombarded with requests right now.  Reefer Madness: On Thursday, the Trump administration signed an order reclassifying state-licensed medical marijuana as a “less dangerous” drug. Until now, it was considered a Schedule I drug, classified the same as heroin. Now, licensed medical marijuana is considered a Schedule III drug. My only complaint: it’s three days late. Guys, 4/20 was right there for you.  The Hot Rotisserie Chicken Act: You read that right. Any meat-eater who’s lived on a budget knows that the grocery store rotisserie chicken is one of the best deals around. Stores usually sell them at a loss to get you in the door, and they can feed you for a couple days if you plan well enough. But because it’s prepared food, this perfect budget isn’t covered by SNAP benefits. A bipartisan group of senators is hoping to change that.  $13 Million Lost in the Couch Cushions: The results of the City and King County’s “forensic evaluation” of the King County Regional Homelessness Authority are finally in, and the results aren’t great. According to the report released to the press, they’re $44.7 million in the hole, and almost $13 million is unaccounted for. The Wilson administration had already made clear that they didn’t have faith in the KCRHA, and had tapped the Low Income Housing Institute to manage the City’s shelter expansion. But now, Wilson said in a statement, “all options are on the table” to protect the public funds that should be going toward the homelessness crisis.  Have you wondered who those poor, struggling millionaires are who are suing to overturn the Millionaires Tax? Stranger staff writer Hunter Pauli looked into the plaintiffs, and turns out, they’re a “rogue’s gallery of plantation owners, real-estate developers, and Koch network tentacles.” The Not-So-Late 8: The Wilson administration announced that they’re adding 13 new blocks of bus lanes on Denny Way in an effort to rescue the 6,000-7,000 daily transit riders from watching toddlers toddle past the 8 Line during rush hour. Meanwhile, the 20,000-30,000 drivers that use Denny for their commutes are about to be squished into a single lane. Sounds like a great time to get familiar with our light rail system.  oh the drivers are MADmynorthwest.com/kiro-opinion…— Erica C. Barnett (@ericacbarnett.bsky.social) 2026-04-23T15:35:40.993Z Library PSA: Wanna check out a book? No you don’t. The whole Seattle Public Library system is closed on Thursday for their annual staff training. You can still drop off books into the book slots if you want, but officially, no checked-out materials are due back today, so now’s a great time to finish that last 50 pages you weren’t able to finish.  A Wild Local Headline for Ya: “2 WA men assumed identities of dead children for 36+ years, police say.” Cops are looking for any intel you might have on the men. They know where they are, the police say, but they want to know where (and who) they’ve been for the last 40 years.  Local Sports Corner: The Seattle Torrent won their second-to-last game of the season last night. And even if you’re not a hockey fan, you can still enjoy that we beat a team that has Britta Curl, known “protect girls’ sports” advocate. Their final game of the season is this Saturday, and it’s the Pride game (though arguably, beating Britta Curl is also a Pride game).  Feeling DIY-y? The West Seattle Tool Library is having their Annual Tool Sale this weekend. From 11–4 p.m., you can shop hundreds of grown-up toys for crazy low prices, and support the tool library while you do it.  The post Slog AM: Kash Patel Is Investigating Journalists, the Regional Homelessness Authority Can’t Find $13 Million, and Condom Prices Are Going Up appeared first on The Stranger. ...read more read less