Some time in my mid-20s, right after the pandemic, this crazy thing happened to me. Suddenly, I didn’t know how to make friends. There was no school, no clubs, no mini city-esque world of college. I got up, went to work and, most days, came straight home (to my parents’ house). Everyone I was c lose with didn’t live in Rochester, and I felt like I was on a bit of an island, unhappy with work and with the state of the world.  These days, I have a job I love and I live with amazing friends — but when I find myself feeling that again, it’s a reminder of how hard it can be to put yourself out there; to suffer the consequences of “will anyone actually show up?”  Though the anxiety lingers, asking my friends (my found family) to show up and showing up for them, in turn, has been one of my most rewarding developments in the past few years.  Below are some of the ways I’ve helped myself branch out — if you’re feeling alone or in need of community, I urge you to take a page from my book and do the same.  PHOTO BY FLORENCE CARDELLA Do ‘quiet’ hobbies together I recently started to crochet because so many of my friends have picked up fiber arts. It turns out knitting and crocheting can be social or solitary activities. My roommate and I can sit on the couch and watch a movie while we work on our projects (she’s much better at multitasking than I am, so her progress naturally keeps me on track). Sometimes all it takes to make a hobby more social is to have a little ‘go bag’ packed and ready to take with you wherever your day leads. And sometimes all it takes to deepen a friendship is asking for help or advice on how to be better. Visiting local craft stores is a great way to meet folks that share your same interests, no matter your skill level. PHOTO BY FLORENCE CARDELLA Host a potluck-style dinner party  You don’t have to be best friends to share a meal with someone, you just need an open mind and an empty stomach. Several times a year, I host pretty large gatherings in this style — usually one in the summer, one for my birthday and one around Thanksgiving.The only rule is that guests have to bring something to share (a game, a drink or a dish) and the only expectation is that they try to talk to someone new. I decided I don’t need to keep my friends separate — everyone can come together and share a meal or a game and be a little more connected to what’s going on around them.Around the holidays, especially, having a group you can gather around fills your cup and provides space to reflect not only on what really matters to you, but on how you’re spending your time.  PHOTO PROVIDED Keep admin hours  Get the gals (or the guys, or the non-binary pals, whoever makes up your circle) together for an admin day and check off those to-do lists together.Pick a coffee shop with a bit of space to sprawl (Winter Swan is my go-to these days) and bring your laptop, planner, calendar or journal. Set to getting things done with the passive ability to chat while you work.I’m so much better at doing literally anything with a body double, especially when it comes to tasks I’m dreading. It’s a relief to share the gripes of building out a budget, editing a video or reviewing a contract when someone is there to encourage your forward momentum. Community means supporting the people you care about, both when it’s fun and when it isn’t glamorous. PHOTO BY FLORENCE CARDELLA Extend a Warm Welcome Sometimes it’s hard to find the balance between posting adventures online and living in the moment. But just because you didn’t take pics doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. The biggest miss is not letting the plans leave the group chat in the first place.  My friend Bekah Cunningham makes plans a reality with a community-forward social club called Warm Welcome, which focuses on meeting new friends. Inspired by social clubs in Denmark, Cunningham set out to help ladies in Rochester “create [their] own circle of friends without needing someone to introduce you.” She prides herself on making friends and connections accessible by providing spaces and occasions to show up, whether it’s a walk along the canal, a cake picnic, a cold plunge or a clothing swap. PHOTO BY FLORENCE CARDELLA Join (or start) a book club  It actually only takes two people to make a book club. I’ve been a part of several, but only ever really stuck with actually reading the assigned book in a smaller group setting. Recently, I was invited to another book club by some friends who have similar literary inclinations, and we decided instead of having a set work to read we would just meet up and chat about what we were currently reading. There’s nothing more exciting than hearing someone I love talk about something they love. The momentum of reading joy will carry you as far as you allow. PHOTO BY FLORENCE CARDELLA Just say hi! My final piece of advice for creating a lasting relationship is … to say hi. I know it sounds silly, but approaching someone new and making that first introduction isn’t always easy. The bad news is, it’s a really great starting point. You can’t make a new connection without making yourself a little vulnerable.  Saying hi can also mean reaching out to your existing friends and starting a conversation. Being the person that constantly reaches out can be hard, so creating balance and setting a calendar reminder to check in on your friends (especially those who always check in on you) goes a long way. It’s harder for the demons of self-doubt to creep in when you’re actively maintaining (and therefore strengthening) your friendships.  Florence Cardella is a Rochester native, full-time bartender and sometimes writer and photographer who searches for community at every possible turn and looks for whimsy in the unexpected. You can follow her @themidnightlibrarian. The post 6 ways to create found family within your community appeared first on CITY Magazine. Arts. Music. Culture.. ...read more read less