Three and a half years ago, Keshia Golden thought that her life was over — one way or another. When her boyfriend threw her against a counter, she thought she and her unborn child were going to die.Then, after she fought back and fatally stabbed him, she thought she would spend the rest of her lif e behind bars.“I never thought I was getting out,” Golden said in an interview. “I never thought I was gonna come home.”Golden was eventually released from jail, thanks to a team of advocates and lawyers who rallied around her. She was able to give birth and raise her daughter on the outside.It’s been “the best thing that ever happened” to her, Golden said. But now she’s preparing for trial and fearful that a jury won't see her side of the story. Golden is due back in court next week.Her lawyers plan to argue she was acting in self-defense against a man with a history of abuse. And they’re still pleading for the Cook County state’s attorney’s office to drop the case altogether.“That relationship that she was in, she was at risk and her baby was at risk every single day,” Julie Koehler, of the Cook County public defender’s office, said in an interview. “Every single minute that she was in that relationship, she was in danger and it was only a matter of time before something like this.” Julie Koehler, Keshia Golden’s public defender, stands Monday at the Freedom Defense Center of Austin.Anthony Vazquez/Sun-Times Celebration turns violentOn Oct. 22, 2022, Golden and her boyfriend, Calvin Sidney, were hosting a baby shower for their first child together. They were surrounded by family, friends, food and lots of gifts, Golden recalls. But after the party, something shifted.Golden said the group went back to her West Side home, and Sidney started fighting with a friend. When she tried to intervene, Golden said, Sidney pushed her down the stairs. She said she left briefly but returned when Sidney promised he’d calmed down. Then a mundane argument over the microwave escalated.“From that, I really feel like I blanked out, because all I know is my face was on the counter for asking a question,” Golden said.He slammed her into the counter, then the fridge, according to Assistant Public Defender Kyan Keenan. A relative tried to separate them, but Sidney wouldn’t relent, so Golden grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the leg, Keenan said. Keshia Golden (left) at her baby shower on Oct. 22, 2022, hours before prosecutors say she killed Calvin Sidney, the father of her unborn child.Provided He was hit in his femoral artery and later died at Mount Sinai Hospital, officials said.“After the stab, I just ran out of the house,” Golden said. “I wasn't thinking clearly. I just wanted him to stop, basically. I didn't know that it hit an artery.”Sidney’s family couldn’t be reached.It wasn’t unusual for the couple to go from “a good time to a bad time,” according to Golden.She had previously called police more than 50 times to report abuse, the public defender's office said. Between June and September of 2022, police responded to five domestic violence incidents involving Golden and Sidney.In four of them, Golden said Sidney had choked, punched, slapped or pushed her. In one case, Sidney accused her of stabbing him in the neck, prosecutors said. He was hospitalized, but didn’t press charges.In July 2022, Golden took out an order of protection against Sidney after he allegedly punched her in her face, according to court records and police reports.Pregnant behind barsGolden said she went home about 30 minutes after the stabbing, not knowing Sidney had died.She was taken into custody and had to be hospitalized for a few days to address her own injuries. In the meantime, a Cook County judge set her bond at $2 million. Golden wasn't present for the hearing and hadn’t spoken to her lawyers yet.“When the judge originally set a $2 million bond in that courtroom, I lost my mind,” said Koehler, deputy chief of the public defender’s homicide task force.Koehler called Mom’s United Against Violence and Incarceration and the Chicago Community Bond Fund to raise awareness and the money needed to get Golden out of jail. Cook County Jail, near 26th Street and California Avenue.Sun-Times file When she first met with a public defender, she cried the whole time. “She didn't believe anyone was here to help her,” Keenan said. “She also told me that her mother had given birth to her sister in prison, and she said that it was her life's goal to break that cycle.”Golden now calls Keenan, Koehler and their colleagues her “angels.”A different judge reduced Golden’s bond to $50,000 about a week later, requiring her to pay $5,000.Holly Krig, director of organizing at Moms United Against Violence and Incarceration, said the bond fund was willing to put up the relatively high amount after determining this was a case of “criminalized survivorhood.” “We should be celebrating the fact that Keshia is still alive,” Krig said in an interview. “Yes, it's tragic for Keshia to have taken the life of her abuser, which was not what she intended, unless the state's attorney's office wants to say that she has a specialization in human anatomy.“But I think it's obvious to everyone who understands … that had Keshia not acted in defense of herself, she would absolutely have died.”Calls to drop charges Golden said becoming a mother is the “best thing that ever happened.” Her daughter, Ky’liyah, is now 3.“I'm going through one of the worst times of my life, but when I seen Ky’liyah, and she looks like him, it still was so beautiful to me,” Golden said. “Even though I was fighting the case, that was the best time of my life, having my baby.”Golden said she’s tried to stay positive over the past 3½ years as the case has lingered on. She’s in therapy, pursuing her high school equivalency degree and racking up various job certifications. Photos of Keshia Golden and her daughter, Ky’liyah.Anthony Vazquez/Sun-Times But she hasn’t been able to get hired with the pending murder charges. Her lawyers want this all to be over soon and are calling for the state’s attorney’s office to drop the charges against Golden.“We are asking that the state's attorney's office help us in supporting Keshia to live the life that she deserves and that her baby deserves,” Koehler said. Twenty community organizations, including Krig’s, have also sent a letter of support to prosecutors demanding the charges be dropped. The state’s attorney’s office doesn't comment on pending cases.“When the state prosecutes survivors for the outcomes of acts of self-defense, they're saying, ‘Well, you failed to prevent this violence against you in the first place, and apparently your moral duty and legal right was to lay down and die,’” Krig said. 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