by Vivian McCall Wow: At least four attorneys in the US Department of Justice have resigned over the government’s political decision not to investigate ICE agent Jonathan Ross for shooting Renee Nicole Good in Minneapolis last Wednesday. Instead, the F BI is examining Good’s “ties” to activist groups after wrenching investigative materials from the state level investigators in Minnesota. The Justice Department claims the attorneys had requested early retirement before the shooting and “any suggestion to the contrary” is false. Suuuuure. Plants, huh? To his neighbor in Chaska, Minnesota, Jonathan Ross was Jonathan Ross the botanist, not Jonathan Ross the ICE Agent. At least, that’s what he told her when they met at a garage sale in 2020, reports People. So it was a bit of a shock for her when she saw him on the news after he killed Good. Fear the Cheese: Check your fridge right now for cups or bags of grated Pecorino Romano cheese from Locatelli, Boar’s Head, Pinna, Ambriola, or Member’s Mark. It could be contaminated with listeria. A recall was first issued back in November, but today the FDA upgraded the situation to a Class I recall—meaning this cheese has a “reasonable probability” of hurting or killing anyone who eats it. The recall affects 20 states, including Washington and Oregon. If you find a cup or bag from these brands, compare its expiration dates with these expiration dates on the Oregonian’s website. Fergilicious: Gov. Bob Ferguson will let us know how we’re doing in his state of the state address to both houses of the Legislature at noon. He’s expected to talk about the state’s $2.3 billion budget gap. In December, ol’ Ferg said he’d support a tax on anyone making more than $1 million a year, butttt that’s not going to help us right now, because, if adopted, it wouldn’t kick in until 2029. Less than a week into her new job as Seattle’s lawyer, City Attorney Erika Evans sat down with Nathalie to talk about her ambitious plan for a more progressive office, and the misinformation shitstorm swirling around her office’s policy on drug users and possessors before she even started. I’ll Take Ass for 500: Cal Raleigh’s big dumper was on Jeopardy. “Referring to his physique, it is the nickname of Cal Raleigh, the new record holder for home runs in a season by a catcher,” asked host Ken Jennings. Contestant Melanie: “What’s Big Dumper?” Jennings: “He has a big dumper.” Weather: Get outside to show SAD who’s boss. It’ll be partly sunny with a high near 57. Looking ahead, it looks like a sunny weekend, too. Dilbert Creator Dies: Scott Adams has died of metastatic prostate cancer. He was 68. Over 10 years, the cartoonist was sucked down an extremist drain of Holocaust and vaccine denial. In 2023, newspapers across the country dropped Dilbert when Adams called Black people “a hate group” on livestream. Adams revealed his cancer diagnosis in May. Lives, Schmives: For decades, the EPA has estimated the health benefits of curbing fire particulate matter and ozone, but President Donald Trump has seen to it that it stops immediately, counter to the agency’s core mission of protecting human health and the environment, the New York Times reports. This step is brought to you by greed, for the change will make it easier for coal power plants, oil refineries, steel mills, and other industrial facilities to operate unimpeded by the trivial concern of human life. Dirty air must be worth an industrialist’s heavy pocket, because long-term exposure to these pollutants is linked to asthma, heart and lung disease. "Over the past four decades, different administrations have used different estimates of the monetary value of a human life in cost-benefit analyses. But until now, no administration has counted it as zero,” wrote the New York Times. Iran: At least 2,000 people have been killed during protests against the country’s theocracy and Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Images obtained by the AP show graffiti and chants calling for the 86-year-old’s death, which is itself punishable by death in Iran. Trump has said the US military may intervene to protect the demonstrators. The death toll will likely rise, according to the Human Rights Activists News Agency, the activist group that reported the numbers. More Horse’s Ass Than Horse Trainer: The man who rode a dapple grey horse outside Portland ICE facility, Mexican flag waving over his shoulder, told ICE that he wasn’t scared of them, and reporters that his name was Mateo Garcia, a horse trainer with a ranch in Washington state, the son of Mexican and Russian immigrants, and the nephew of a man detained by ICE. The horse was his, and he may have access to a ranch, but according to his family, he isn’t Mexican, all his uncles are dead, his real name is Matthew Karl Hofmann, and he works at Jiffy Lube. Records and photos obtained by the Oregonian back this up. Over the phone, he answered to Matthew, but had “no clue” why anyone would accuse him of not being Mateo Garcia, the horse rancher. Fine Idea: President Donald Trump is threatening to take Greenland (and end NATO) the “hard way,” so Republican Congressman Randy Fine of Florida wanted to make it a little easier for him. He introduced a bill that would authorize Trump to “take whatever steps necessary to annex or acquire Greenland,” which is semiautonomous and part of fucking Denmark. Taking it would be insane. Meanwhile: Rep. Jimmy Gomez of California introduced the “Greenland Sovereignty Protection Act,” a bill blocking federal money from funding Trump’s imperialist ambitions for Greenland. Lest We Forget: We talk a lot about Trump’s fascism, gluttonous ego and moral decrepitude, which, really, sells him short. People are complex, many-layered. He’s a dork loser also. Drink up, America.#DrinkWholeMilk 🥛 pic.twitter.com/eemI31G1wx— Dept. of Agriculture (@USDA) January 12, 2026 One Last Thing: The Stranger’s video guy, Dave, is looking for volunteers to answer questions from our Love Sex issue on camera. If you have sexual thoughts, please email [email protected]. A Song for You: ...read more read less