The word “no” might be one of the shortest in the English language, but it can also be one of the hardest words to say. However, if you want to actually carve out some space to focus on yourself, you’ll have to get more comfortable using that word — without guilt. Those who want to get better at saying “no” to other people and start putting themselves first may benefit from a simple change in mindset, Nedra Glover Tawwab, a therapist and author of the upcoming book “The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself,” said on the TODAY show recently. Therapist tip of the day: A ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ to something else The truth is that putting yourself first might require saying no to others, which can be a challenge. And what if that other person lays on the guilt trip to get you to agree? “A no is a yes,” Tawwab says. “You’re saying no to this thing so you can say yes to something else.” “Sometimes I say no to attending an event so I can go to bed early or put my kids to bed,” Tawwab explains. “So it’s not, ‘Oh gosh, I feel terrible for this.’ It’s, ‘I’m going to feel great in the morning when I wake up rested.'” Try this little mental swap to give yourself a little more space and time without being made to feel bad about it. Why it matters Oftentimes, we are our own biggest roadblocks without realizing it, Tawwab explains, especially when it comes to prioritizing our needs over those of others. “We convince ourselves that we don’t have time to do what we need to do to take care of ourselves, but miraculously, we’re able to make time for our friend who calls,” she says. “But five or 10 minutes to sit and journal, it’s like, I don’t have the time.” If that resonates with you, your people-pleasing tendencies may be getting in the way of your own mental wellbeing. That means you need to get better at saying “no” to others and saying “yes” to yourself instead. How to get started When you’re ready to start claiming more space for yourself, be prepared to decline other people’s requests. mental health Jul 23 Therapist says this is the first thing you should do if you're ‘crashing out' news Jul 29 ‘Where are the instructions?': Gen Zers confront the quarter-life crisis—'the world is messy and hard,' therapist says You don’t necessarily have to offer any excuses or explanations, Tawwab says. With people you have a close relationship with, you might feel comfortable being honest about why you have to bow out. But not everyone needs that level of detail, she says. “With the right people, we can give them a little bit more,” Tawwab notes. “But we know those people who will get guilt trip us. They’ll look for any hole in the story.” Setting healthy, firm boundaries (and leaving it at that) is a skill that will serve you well in work and any relationship. This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY: The No. 1 Reason People Fail to Practice Self-Care, According to a Therapist Break Up With Your Therapist If They Keep Doing This 1 Thing, Experts Say Avoid This 1 Type of Light to Fight Seasonal Mood Changes, Therapists Say TODAY’s Expert Tip of the Day series is all about simple strategies to make life a little easier. Every Monday through Friday, different qualified experts share their best advice on diet, fitness, heart health, mental wellness and more. ...read more read less